I woke up today with my daughter whining because she hates waking up, but today I wasn’t into it. After getting her out of bed, I laid in bed for a few minutes, wanting to go back to sleep but knowing I needed to get her ready for daycare and get dressed for my plans.

I came downstairs, and watched my daughter play while my dad ate breakfast, and my mom packed her lunch for work. I was disengaged, head down, glued to my seat. My eyes were droopy, and my headache from the night before was still present. I stayed off my phone, and left my book closed on the table in front of me. My mom checked in to see what was wrong and I realized I was in a bad ass mood.

Nothing happened to trigger my irritability, and sensitivity. Well, I started my period, which could be the culprit and the reason why I’ve been on the brink of tears today. Still, these past days have actually been good for my mental health. I’ve been able to dive back into hobbies, since I’m in another waiting period of my life. I’ve started a new routine to help with implementing new habits. Though it won’t be full fourteen days until the end of the week, I have been consistent so far and that is where I have always struggled. So waking up today, feeling shitty, was surprising.

Today wasn’t even a bad day, I’ve just been in a bad mood. Even if my mood is just because I am on my period and don’t want to be bothered, today is a good reminder that everyone has bad moods, days, and moments. When we feel like shit, it doesn’t erase any progress we have made with our mental health and on our healing journey. In fact, I have seen the ways I’ve improved with handling by bad mood.

I didn’t say I was fine when my mom asked. I told her I was tired, had a headache, was on my period, and had plans I didn’t want to keep, even though I was excited to catch up. I still kept my promise by meeting my friends, but I was honest about my headspace and set a time limit on how long I would be there. When they said they should let me go, I didn’t try to be polite and push through. I thanked them because I knew I was tapped out and left, realizing it was the exact time I estimated I would be ready to go. I have even gone the whole day without apologizing for my mood. Though I have thanked people for dealing with it.

Now I’m sitting here, processing the day by writing this, without overanalyzing on why I’m just not in the mood. I’ve accepted it for what it is. Bad days happen, and maybe there is a subconscious reason why, but today, I’m going to sit in my bad mood and hope tomorrow I feel better.